Unfortunately, my sister had the birth experience of my nightmares... She was induced (due to high blood pressure) with prostaglandin gel, then had her membranes ruptured, and then she was pumped her full of pitocin. She subsequently needed an epidural on account of her contractions coming on so hard and fast. Then, despite being fully dilated, the baby wasn't engaged so we waited and waited - then she pushed, and pushed, and pushed for FIVE hours (because her OB disappeared and thought she had only been pushing for TWO hours). Then they tried the vaccum, and the forceps, before she ultimately needed a c-section.
It was awful.
I am suddenly experiencing FEAR of childbirth for the first time. Fear of my midwives transferring my care to an OB, fear of the cascading interventions, fear of a c-section and, scariest of all, fear that my body cannot deliver this baby (since apparently my sister's pelvic bones prevented her from doing so).
I actually broke down in tears at the midwives office this morning as I talked about it and acknowledged this new anxiety.
So how am I planning to overcome my fear and restore calm with two months to go?
- Positive birth affirmations!
- In moments of weakness, reminding myself that birth is a normal and natural part of life - something I truly believe.
- Refocusing on my hypnobirthing preparations.
- Writing a birth plan that addresseses the "what ifs".
- Finding comfort in the fact that I have midwife (rather than an obstetrician) who will act in the best interest of me and my baby.
