Every time I have to try to trim my daughter's nails I gain a newfound appreciation for people who groom animals for a living! 

the worst kind of doctor's appointment before and after baby

Whenever you're young and healthy and childless, the worst type of doctor;s visit for a woman is the pap smear. It's uncomfortable. You wanna make sure you're fresh, clean and well-groomed for your doctor because you're embarassed about your ladybits. You're horrified by the unladylike position you are in with your doctor who is a virtual stranger. It is scary. I even had a colleague who told me that after every pap smear she always went to get herself a treat from Dairy Queen as a reward for getting through it (I wish I had thought of it).

Anyway, before baby, when I had a pap smear it was like, the BIG THING on my agenda for the week and consumed a silly amount of time, energy and anxiety.

I had a pap smear today. Had to bring my baby in the room with me. I showered but did not stress the grooming. I wasn't the least bit embarassed about my body or my ladybits (it feels like everyone and their mother already saw them while I was in labour). In fact, as the doctor performed the test, I was playing peekaboo with my daughter in the stroller beside the table I was propped up on.

It makes me realize how many other silly things I wasted energy on that really don't matter. Ugh.

Babies: the ultimate taechers of "hindsight is 20/20".

what you really need in your hospital bag

When it came to packing my hospital bag, I gave it a ridiculous amount of thought. I must have used 10 different lists from Pinterest that I amalgamated to make my Master List.

Here's what your Hospital Bag should include!

For Mom

• Health & Insurance cards
• 2 pillows in colored pillowcases
• 3 pairs of underwear
• Overnight pads (whole package)
• Nursing bra
• Nursing pads (8) 
• "Going Home Outfit" (it was yoga pants and a maternity tee for me)
• Flip flips
• Socks (2 pairs) to wear when walking around the hospital room in labour
• Deodorant
• Toothbrush and toothpaste (travel size)
• Shampoo and conditioner (travel size)
• Brush and hairties
• Lip balm
• Folder for important documents
• Phone
• Phone charger
• Earbuds
• Camera
• Camera charger
• Cash (for snacks)
• Shot Bloks (For a last-minute boost before pushing)
• Coke/Pepsi (Midwife recommended I drink it for energy while pushing)
• Your favourite chocolate bar to "treat yourself" when it's all over*

For Baby

• 20 Newborn Diapers (10 per day, for 2 days)
• Wipes (again, enough for 2 days)
• 2 Sleepers (1 NB size, 1 0-3m size)
• 2 Receiving Blankets
• Car Seat

Note: You'll want to bring enough diapers and wipes for 2 days in case you need an emergency c-section/bad tear/complications with you or baby. 

For Dad

• Underwear
• Socks (2 pairs)
• T-shirt
• Deodorant
• Toothbrush (Mom has the toothpaste) 

And now, here's what you don't need and why... 

• A nightdress or outfit to labour in. You will just get blood on it. 
• A cute robe/outfit to wear after baby arrives. Two words: blood and sweat.
• Slippers. Again, there will be a lot of blood dripping down your legs the first time you get up.
• Makeup. Hahahaha. I thought I was realistic when I only brought an eyelash curler, mascara, blush and lipstick. It took 2 weeks before I had time/energy to put on makeup.
• Notepad and pen. I just wrote stuff in my phone.
• Cigar for Dad. Yeah, he won't have time for that,
• Hat, Mittens, Booties for Baby. The sleeper will keep them warm enough and the hospital will provide a hat.

*It's never over... It took me 2 weeks to get around to eating the Twix bar I brought in my hospital bag to treat myself post-baby. It'll be THAT crazy.

my third trimester essentials

Well, I'm finally reaching the end of my pregnancy.  I'm 39 weeks pregnant and we're ready for baby at any time.

Here's what's helped get me through this thrilling final stretch: My Essentials for the Third Trimester...

Maternity Underwear. 
Trust me on this one. Comfort is key to maintaining your sanity!

Comfortable Shoes
My feet have been incredibly, painfully swollen for the better part of this third trimester... Nothing sent me into tears of frustration like struggling to get boots on my feet. I even had to take a day off work when I couldn't get boots on my feet during a bad snowstorm! While boots are a logistical nightmare when you've got a big bump, I highly reccommend having at least one pair of shoes that fit comfortably. I bought some basic blat flates I could wear for work from Payless but, if I could go back in time, I would have also bought running shoes (with velcro!) so that my joints have some shock-absorption as I take walks during the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

Maternity Leggings
I was the kind of person pre-pregnancy who loathed people who wear leggings as pants... Now, I am now one of those people. I have two pairs and, let me tell you, the two days of the week I wore those leggings to work in my final trimester were real good days. 

Nursing Bra(s) & Tank(s)
One thing I learned from my sister giving birth two months ago its that it's better to wait to buy your nursing bras until AFTER your milk comes in and your supply regulates. So keeping in mind my boobs would be in flux in the beginning, I bought the following that would accomodate my changing bosom:
- Bravado Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra
- Medela Ultra Stretch Nursing Bra
- 2 Basic Nursing Tanks (from Target) in different sizes

A Sense Of Humour
People are assholes. Between feeling sensitive about your seemingly out-of-control body, sleep deprivation, and surging hormones, it's easy for your feelings to be hurt. Prepare for people - even your friends and family - to make dumb, insensitive comments ("You're huge!", "Are you sure there's just one baby in there?", etc.) and don't you dare feel bad about having a bitchy response to them.

I can honestly say that even in spite of my big bump, swollen feet and heartburn, I truly love being pregnant. I only hope you can savour the third trimester as much as I have!

staying active to the end?

I'm starting to feel like the idea of staying active throughout one's pregnancy is a myth.

With less than 4 weeks to go, I'm starting to be put off by all the factors working against me...

I can do longer get running shoes (or any shoes really) on my swollen feet. Like, I actually went for a walk in white athletic socks and black flats. It wasn't cute.

When I do go for a walk, I've got 15-20 minutes max before I need to find a bathroom or risk peeing my pants.

And worst of all, when I'm done walking, my ladyparts just ACHE...

I was feeling so lazy/guilty...
Wishing I was brave enough to go swimming (a scary prospect once one's bikini line gets out of sight).
Wishing I had been doing boring prenatal yoga (or a pre-nap as I like to think of it) all along.
Wishing I was one of those badass crossfit mamas lifting heavy weights (instead of feeling out of breath when I do laundry).

But alas, I'm TIRED and feel very strongly that my body is telling me to slow down.

AND guess what, I spoke to a bunch of other mamas and NEWSFLASH they didn't work out in the 9th month either. They didn't do yoga or feel obligated to take long walks on aching feet... As it turns out, the home stretch is all about putting your feet up (resting those swollen ankles) and conserving your energy... And that is something I'm in shape for.

my new niece has arrived

I couldn't be more delighted about the arrrival of my adorable niece almost a week ago. My little sister is now a little Mama, my parents are now doting grandparents, and I'm an Aunt!

Unfortunately, my sister had the birth experience of my nightmares... She was induced (due to high blood pressure) with prostaglandin gel, then had her membranes ruptured, and then she was pumped her full of pitocin. She subsequently needed an epidural on account of her contractions coming on so hard and fast. Then, despite being fully dilated, the baby wasn't engaged so we waited and waited - then she pushed, and pushed, and pushed for FIVE hours (because her OB disappeared and thought she had only been pushing for TWO hours). Then they tried the vaccum, and the forceps, before she ultimately needed a c-section. 

It was awful. 

I am suddenly experiencing FEAR of childbirth for the first time. Fear of my midwives transferring my care to an OB, fear of the cascading interventions, fear of a c-section and, scariest of all, fear that my body cannot deliver this baby (since apparently my sister's pelvic bones prevented her from doing so). 

I actually broke down in tears at the midwives office this morning as I talked about it and acknowledged this new anxiety. 

So how am I planning to overcome my fear and restore calm with two months to go? 

• Positive birth affirmations! 
• In moments of weakness, reminding myself that birth is a normal and natural part of life - something I truly believe.   
• Refocusing on my hypnobirthing preparations.
• Writing a birth plan that addresseses the "what ifs". 
• Finding comfort in the fact that I have midwife (rather than an obstetrician) who will act in the best interest of me and my baby.

 Wish me luck!

my second trimester essentials

Now that I've made it through the blissful 2nd trimester I can honestly say that, clothes aside, you really don't need too much to be pregnant at this stage in the game. The 2nd trimester is all about feeling full of life and looking adorable with your little bump... Enjoy it! 

Here's what I considered to be My Essentials for the Second Trimester...

Maternity Clothes
You're going to be wearing the same clothes over and over again for 6 months so plan to spend a bit of money. I'm a total cheapskate but I think $500 is realistic for some key pieces you can mix and match. I found the following maternity items to be the best investments and I bought them all at Thyme Maternity:
- Black dress pants for work. 2 pairs if you work is a somewhat professional environment.
- Black leggings. (Trust me, your regular-waist leggings will not be comfortable by the 6 month mark!)
- Black yoga pants. I didn't even know they made maternity yoga pants until my Mom gave these to me... I would wear them every moment of every day if I could!
- 2-3 solid coloured sweaters. The great thing about maternity tops is that they are longer and the ones I bought can, and will, be worn even after baby arrives.
- 2-3 solid tees.
- 2 trendy tops. Horizontal stripes make you look more pregnant in the 2nd trimester when you want to emphasize your growing bump. (I tried to rock this look on days when I had to deal with difficult people that I wanted to be nicer to me!)
- 1 maternity coat if you're going to be pregnant throughout most of the winter. I treated myself a wool coat with an asymmetrical zipper that will still look adorbs when I'm not pregnant. My sister just bought a maternity insert that worked with her existing winter coat  and it was a cost-effective alternative!

In the beginning (Month 4, maybe 5 even) you will think you will be able to continue to wear your regular clothes.... And you are mistaken my friend! The only clothes that made it through the second trimester were long tanks, cardigans and sweater dresses. I strongly recommend starting to pick up a few items (even just the pants) once you're into the second trimester - I didn't need mine right away but it was helpful to have them on hand when I needed them! "Don't wait" is the one thing I heard over and over again is from pregnant woman who wished they had bought their maternity clothes earlier.

A New (Bigger) Bra and possibly some Bra Extenders 
First your cup size will get bigger which is pretty awesome... until your rib cage starts expanding too! I kicked off the 2nd trimester buying a cheap, bigger cup and band size bra from Walmart for around $25 for "plus-size" women (perfect when you're already a 36/DD and in need of thick, supportive straps). Then, 2 months later, I finally spent another $6 buying a package of Bra Extenders to accommodate my wider ribcage and like, you know, breathe comfortably again. I really wish I had taken my own advice sooner and bought the Bra Extenders earlier to avoid taking my bra off in a movie theatre just to be able to breathe. Twice.

Tums
I seriously didn't even know what Tums were for until I got pregnant! In Months 4 &5 I developed super-uncomfortable acid reflux that would strike almost daily around 3:30pm and also sometimes before bed. I bought myself a 2 big containers of Tums Smoothies (in yummy berry flavours) for home and work - as well as a mini-container for my purse - to get some quick relief as needed!

Everyone will tell you the second trimester is the high point of being pregnant and, so far, I have to agree. Most people feel relatively good, you still look cute, people can see you're pregnant and get excited for you (and that makes you feel even more excited), and you're experiencing the magic of feeling your little one moving around. It's a good time - I hope you can make the best of it!

what to do when you're newly pregnant

So you're pregnant... now what?

Here's What To Do When You're Newly Pregnant

Double Check
I did my first pregnancy test on one that cost $1.25 from Dollarama. Naturally I didn't believe it. So then I used a more expensive $15 test. Then I booked a blood test to confirm before sharing the happy news with my husband.

Call the Midwife
Midwives are IN DEMAND. I called them right away, had to wait a week to see if they had a space for me at a hospital of their choice (since not all hospitals are receptive), and then had 24 hours to tell them if we would move forward or not. It's much harder to get a midwife than it is to get an OB in Ontario.  

Take Your Vitamins
Ideally you've been taking prenatal vitamins for at least 3 months before getting pregnant... But if not, start taking them now, they're not only good for baby but they're good for you too! See your doctor when you plan on trying to concieve and you can get them prescribed so your health insurance covers it!

Keep It Quiet... Or Not
This is entirely up to you but all I can say is, you're going to be pregnant for a long time  - it's nice to have something only you and your partner can share in the beginning. We decided to wait 14 weeks to tell my family and close friends, 15+ weeks to tell my boss/colleagues, and 20 weeks to share the news on Facebook, and I have no regrets.

Celebrate
Most people only have a week or two between missing a period and the morning sickness/extreme fatigue setting in, so make the most of that time - go out for dinner, stay up late - before all you want to do is lie on the couch and go to bed at 8:00pm. Live it up!

sick with the cold and pregnant

I'm probably that person you hate to work with who almost-always, without fail, shows up to work everyday - even when I'm sick with a cold. Especially with a cold because like, I would just take those handy capsules to ease my congestion/sinus pressure/core throat/cough and get on with business.

So as the holidays approached, knowing I would have to go without my beloved over-the-counter pharmaceutical solutions this year, I had been working hard to avoid getting sick. I washed my hands every hour (pretty easy when you have to pee every hour anyway), disinfected my desk, computer, phone and work surfaces, and even refused to take appointments with people who appeared visibly sick... So of course I get a bad cold the day after Christmas. Just in time to spend my entire week off sick.

It has been, as I had been warned, way worse than cold I had pre-pregnancy. I feel more run-down, my eyes have watered for 3 days straight, the sinus pressure makes everything feel impossible. I am a total freaking wuss. Here's how I've been dealing....
Hot showers. I can breathe again! For, like, an hour afterwards anyway!
Water. Lots of it. You need something to help flush that garbage out of ya!
Kleenex. Lots and lots of Kleenex for the temporary relief of blowing even though nothing comes out.
Giving myself permission to drink tea again. Yes, I know there's caffeine which I have been working hard to avoid but I can't help it. It soothes me.
Tom Yum Soup. This Thai soup is magic! And the spice really helps to relieve the sinus pressure!
A certain degree of "getting on with it". I did the things I needed to do that didn't involve human interaction like finishing my baby registry, taking down the Christmas decorations, organizing and packing up the room that will become our nursery. It helped me get over the guilt of all the human-interaction-related plans that got thrown out the window.
Trying to reframe the forced downtime as R&R. This is not easy for a Type-A productivity-machine like me, but I've tried to ENJOY my "lazy time" spent watching daytime TV, scouring Pinterest, and reading pregnancy, birth and baby books.

The biggest lesson of all? If my workplace wasn't closed for the holidays, I would honestly be forced to stay home sick right now. As one should. When you're sick you should stay home, you never know who you could spread it to and how it will affect them.

Lesson learned Universe... So um, can you make my better now?

my first trimester essentials

The first trimester was one of the most beautiful, emotional and transformative times of my life... It was also very overwhelming with so many new experiences all happening at once...

My dreams had finally came true and then I suddenly I discovered a whole new set of fears and worries.
I had a huge news and yet it needed to stay a secret between my husband and I for two and a half months. 
I never felt more womanly and certainly did not feel my most beautiful. 
I'd never been more motivated to be healthy, but all I wanted to eat was cheese and carbs.
I felt amazed at my body's capability, but out of control of my body as well.

It's an awesome new experience and what I took away from it is that you just gotta do what works best for YOU. That said, My Essentials for the First Trimester are as follows...

Bagels! Or simple/heavy carb of your choice!
I don't know where this rumour about pregnant ladies eating saltine crackers to ease their upset stomach started but IT DOESN'T WORK. It doesn't take a genius to realize crackers are like the easiest thing to barf up. What worked for me 80% of the time was to eat an Everything Bagel (I started buying these when I saw they are higher in folic acid!) toasted with a piece of real full-fat cheddar cheese (calcium!) every morning within an hour of waking. Sometimes it came up but, more often than not, it stayed put and kept me full.

Stretchy pants. 
If you have an office job and/or spend a good portion of the day sitting, you'll want to make sure your pants aren't going to be digging into into you... Not because you have a bump at this point (you probably won't) but because you will get bloated! And since, sweatpants aren't office-appropriate, pants with a comfortable waistband (I spent like $40 on mine and they're the kind that don't really need to be ironed - bonus!) in maybe a size-up, will help get you through the workday in comfort.

Makeup
I was more tired than I'd ever known before. I could sleep 9 hours one night and then pass out from exhaustion the next day at 7pm. It was unreal... And then add constant nausea and unpredictable, unrelenting vomiting to the mix and it's only natural I started to take on a grey, zombie-esque pallor. Enter my old friend make-up... Concealer will do wonders for the bags under your eyes. Rosey pink blush will restore colour to your cheeks. Waterproof mascara (ditch the eyeliner) will be able to hold up to the watery eyes caused by vomiting. Those three items alone will help you look like your normal self - even when you don't feel like it.

The Snoogle. Or any body pillow really.
This is a bit of a luxury item but, as a former tummy-sleeper, I decided to invest in a Snoogle to help me get into the habit of sleeping on my side! It's a bit overpriced ($80) but I asked for it as a birthday gift and sewed my own flannel pillowcase ($5) to make it extra cosy. I also love using it to prop myself upright for the hour or so I read before going to bed.

Pregnancy Journal
While you're keeping this big secret a secret it's nice to have something to record your thoughts, feelings, cravings, aversions and changes as they change week-by-week. 

Anyway, like I said, just do whatever makes YOU feel good until you made it to Week 14!